Confessions
by atemumana
Summary: Kaname confessed the truth of himself to Yuuki in chapter 61, expecting a reaction from her but when her reaction was surprising to him...? Part of Daybreak. ONESHOT. Kaname x Yuuki.


_I feel like crying after reading this._

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_So that's what happened._

"Oniisama, don't worry! I understand! Err, maybe there's a slight confusion but I understand! Please don't show that sad face on me."

Kaname tried to explain to her, "But..."

Yuuki's finger touched his lips, preventing him from saying more. "Shh. I always have this feeling trying to tell me something but I never understand it. Many times I feel I don't know you, you changed since our childhood times but now, I know. I know, oniisama, so don't worry because I won't hate you for this."

Kaname hesitated, trying to explain but she hushed him again. _Why?_

"I am devastated over what happened. It happened before my birth so I never really get it. What he did, I meant, Uncle Rido did, it was horrible! Oniisama, even though you're involved in this, it doesn't mean you have to be responsible! Oniisama is a victim too! So please don't be sad, don't show that face."

"Stop calling me oniisama," he murmured below his breath but she didn't hear him.

Yuuki said with a smile, "Father and mother accepted you even when you're not their real son so there's no strong reasons why I have to push you away when you're my only family left. You told me, right? There are only two Kuran family members. It's us, oniisama. The Pureblood vampires from Kuran family."

"You may not be my real brother but oniisama, you are always there for me. I love you and that's not because you're my brother. I never see you as a brother, but a man. You're Kaname and I'll be honest with you, I really love you so please–" her voice choked, holding the tears threatening to come out from the corners of her eyes. "Even if sometimes I doubt your feelings but I think I know that you love me as me. Even when I don't feel I deserve you."

Kaname was lost in her words. Yuuki said all these things without understanding what she just saw. Why did she act like this, all teary and hopeful? What was she trying to get by doing that? It wouldn't affect him nor change his mind when she said what she just said to him. Did she doubt his love, he wondered, his pure and honest love? All these years he never see her as a sister but a woman. She reminded him of no one because she's already there.

_Yuu._

"You are not angry with me? I kept all the secrets from you all along. It hurts deep inside."

Yuuki stared at him with a quick worry. "Angry? Why would I? Oniisama!"

"Then you should!" he said, looking at her desperately. "I'm not your brother, not even related to you! Your brother died because of me! You never get it, Yuuki! I used your brother's identity so I can get close to you. I know, in a way, we are indeed related but I don't even know what generation you are now. I am the first of the family and you are the latest of the family. We are so far apart yet here we are, together in this chamber and breathing the same air."

Her hands touched his head but he pulled them gently away. "Yuuki, you didn't understand what you saw a moment ago, admit it. I don't want you to accept me like this, not in this way. Indeed, you never understand me but don't feel sorry because I'm the victim of what happened that time. I never consider myself a victim of Rido's actions. The true victim was your brother. He was helpless, only a child. He couldn't speak nor can he defend himself."

Yuuki's eyes widened as Kaname started his side of story.

"Your brother was initially kidnapped by Rido for his personal gain. He wanted to eat him to gain his powers. Soon, he found out about this chamber and my coffin then decided instead of eating your brother, he would use him to reawaken me by force. I was indirectly involved in this. I didn't want this to happen."

"As he was the one who found this chamber, he thought of using me for his evil deeds. I never thought Rido to be twisted and wicked. He was a good child. I knew that even when I wasn't really there when he was small. He was protective of his younger siblings. That's why Haruka could never..."

Yuuki waited patiently as Kaname murmured the last words. "...hate him."

"Father couldn't?" she asked him, puzzled. _Why not, father?_

"The only reason why Haruka lost the battle with Rido was the sense of respect. He was the younger brother and Rido was the older brother. Rido has always been there by his side, teaching and protecting him. As a result, Haruka looked up at him but when Rido lost the battle for the heir of the Kuran family, he was a changed man. No longer speaking to Haruka in gentle terms, he left the family. He was mad, angry and hurt."

Yuuki placed her hands over her mouth, gasping in shock. "Is that why...?"

Kaname nodded. "He loved Juri. That's why when Haruka and Juri were scheduled to marry, he loathed them since then. The kidnapping of your brother was the point. He wanted revenge and the only way to let them taste his pain was losing their child. It's a way of payback, I suppose. He was angry at Haruka but it was Juri that felt the worse. He believed she betrayed him to be with Haruka. It was no one's fault. It's just a simple misunderstanding."

"Then..." he stopped. "I was there, in this chamber, inside this coffin." He pointed the chamber Yuuki was sitting on, his expression changed.

"But... This is father and mother's home. How did he get inside?"

Kaname looked at Yuuki and smiled. "How did we get to the Kuran manor again, Yuuki?" he questioned her and she flushed in embarrassment. "There are many ways. I will tell you in case you've forgotten. Go through the front door above the ground or use the secret passage under the ground. Both paths are not connected so it's easy to sneak inside without anyone knowing. This chamber is even beneath the ground so it isn't so hard for Rido to get inside. This house used to be his house before he left in the first place."

"This manor was built thousands of years ago, you don't even know how long it has been since it's that long ago. It started with a small house, enough for a family of three and then the father decided to reconstruct the structure and it grew slightly bigger. Then, the following generations renovated this house because the family is getting bigger and they need space but in the end, from a large family, this house grew smaller with the number of its occupants. Now, there's only the two of us here."

"Maybe one of us will remain and become the last master or mistress of this house."

Yuuki didn't like this Kaname, she concluded, he was different from the one she was used to. "Oniisama."

"Enough with that name calling!" he said, slamming his palm on the coffin lid. "I am not your brother, Yuuki! Don't you get it?" he asked.

"Ka... Kaname!" she cried, startled from his anger. "Please don't be like this! I'm grateful for your explanation but it isn't your fault! I feel sorry for you."

"You damn sure it isn't my fault!" he cried, turning his body as he moved toward the door. He needed space but he wasn't leaving her. "I have this guilt for ages, wondering where I am going to hide it but now I know, there's none! I have to take this guilt and die with it. I'm a Pureblood vampire. I am not kind. I am not human. Yuuki, vampires are not kind, never as your imagination. I might have said that to support you but let's be clear with this. If there exist a kind vampire, he or she won't survive in this world!"

"Even humans have to be cruel and savage to survive in this world, their own world. Remember this quote: survival of the fittest. You don't have to be strong but you have to take chances when it's the right time. What's the use of kindness when everyone will become selfish when they are desperate? Will you be kind when there's a lot asking for your help? If there's injured vampires who need blood, will you give them your blood? Will it be enough to save all of them? Yuuki, kind people never exist!" he cried.

Her heart was pounding hard, it hurt a lot. "Kind people exist, onii... Kaname!" she protested. "You are kind."

"Only you," he told her. _Only you, Yuuki._

"But I thought, I know you hate Zero but–"

"I never let my guard down with them. They see me as who I truly am but with you, it's different. I tried my best to be your special person, the man you can depend on and not worry about because he can take care of himself. I want to be your ideal man, your prince. I want to satisfy, protect and give you hope. I want to give you a beautiful world to live in even if it cost me lives but I'll do anything for your sake. I want you to be happy when I cannot do so."

He walked back toward her, lifted her hands as he carressed them in the gentlest way. "The only thing I am afraid of is your reaction of the truth, Yuuki."

"I am willing to accept you, Kaname. I want you by my side and in my life. Please don't leave me."

He fell to his knees, her hands still in his and he said, "This is not the reaction that I want, Yuuki. I don't want you to calmly accept this. This is madness."

"What are you talking about? I love you and I want you in my life. What do you want me to say? You want me to be angry with you? Why?" she asked him.

"I cannot forgive myself, Yuuki. I will never be able to do so." As he said that, he lowered his head to her hands and stayed like that, regretting his existence in life. "I want to die but fate didn't give me the chance because I have sinned toward my beloved. I lost her because I was careless. I thought she would be fine during my absence but it was just a stupid vision. Something a fool like me would do. I didn't get to say goodbye or say my words of love because she wasn't breathing anymore when I found her. The snow. She was beneath the snow. She died... and it was my fault."

"Yuu." He called her name with ragged, desperate tone but Yuuki knew he wasn't calling her. It's not her he was looking for. "Yuu."

Yuuki felt dampness on her hands and realized that her love was silently crying with his head on her lap. She slowly removed one hand and stroke his head. Perhaps she should be angry with Kaname but she didn't have the heart to do so. He could say anything he like but the true Kaname wasn't a mad, beastly vampire who was power crazy but he was this person. He was so weak, defeated and guilty. _How long have you been holding back, Kaname?_

"I love you. I truly do. I'm sorry I cannot be angry but I know that I'll accept you no matter what, Kaname. I need time."

"Yuuki." Kaname slightly changed his position and looked at her. "I'm worthless for you."

"You are, indeed you are." She smiled weakly, the tears dropped along her face.

He lightly smiled and snuggled closer to her. "I love you too," he murmured. "I'll explain the rest later but now, I want to be by your side."

"Of course. Take your time, my love."

"Thank you." He closed his eyes and continued what he was doing. Yuuki's lap was a wonderful spot to sleep on. As usual, he concluded, it never changed.

_You are kind, Yuuki. That part of you will never change no matter how long time has passed._

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**(END)**

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**A/N:** I was told to wait until the next chapters to come but knowing me, I didn't have the patience when it's my muses. Therefore, I wrote this piece.

I am currently having writer's block for Daybreak, nah, the cake is a bloody lie, but it's a very slow process. Sometimes you need drawing skills to get the story in place, gah. This chapter itself will appear after I'm done with chapter 7 but I don't have the nerve to complete chapter 7 then write chapter 8 soon after. But my hands, it's itching to write about Yuuki's reaction! Since this is a oneshot, I choose the Yuuki that accepts the truth, not that surprising, IMO.

But... Kaname doesn't want this easy acceptance because it's not easy for him to swallow everything that happened to him. CHECK: **THE SNOW, THE PAST**. If it's that easy, he would have come clean about himself instead of holding back with the guilt of secrets. Anyway, this story is as usual, part of Daybreak itself. But it's stand alone, so you don't have to worry about needing to read Daybreak except... the Yuu part.

However, do read Daybreak and leave reviews on my stories! I enjoy receiving reviews, especially if it's Daybreak. Lately I've been receiving reviews for Ominous Hours, while it's great to receive reviews for completed story with bittersweet ending like OH, it'll make me happier if it's DB since I don't exactly remember what happened in OH except the ending, which is unforgettable. Also, there won't be any sequel for OH for those who wonder. Thank you.

Read and review. Enjoy!


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